Week 12 Gameday Preview

JUAN Y PABLO - Mike
BEBEFILLE - Alex
HARRY - Eric
MERL - Mark



[camera focuses on JUAN and PABLO sitting at a news desk]

JUAN: “Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of the MLBN’s Weekly Gameday Preview. I’m Juan Mojito, and with me as always is my brother Pablo, who will be translating highlights from the program into Spanish for our viewers south of the border.”

PABLO: “Sí.”

JUAN: “Pablo dice, ‘sí’. Tonight we’ll be talking with our experts and sources from around the country about the upcoming Burlington Coat Factory Game of the Week between the Houston Texans and the Cleveland Browns. Having just lost their latest game in week 11 against the Indianapolis Colts, the Texans are (7-3), but still ahead in the AFC South. The Browns, of course, are still undefeated and have yet to face a significant challenge this season. Our first guest tonight hails from the old Vieux Carré in New Orleans. Please welcome their local French Quarter Columnist, Jean-Luc Bébéfille.”

[camera pans to include BEBEFILLE sitting next to the desk]

JUAN: “Welcome, welcome. So what do you go by? Jean-Luc? Jean?”

BEBEFILLE: “Please, just call me Bébéfille.”

PABLO: “Bebé Chica.”

JUAN: “Okay, Bébéfille. For our first question to you, we’d like to address the obvious mismatch on paper between these two teams. It appears that almost any way you cut the stat sheet, Cleveland has the big advantage. Do you see anything in the numbers that indicates hope for Houston in this game?”

BEBEFILLE: “In a word, ‘no’. But since I have to fill the next seven minutes I’ll keep talking. While all of the stats look intimidating, the only stat that really matters is wins and losses. But, looking at the standings, Cleveland has the edge there too. Well, I guess we could talk about the old football cliché about any given Sunday…”

JUAN: “Bébéfille. Bébéfille. Surely the Browns don’t have every advantage.”

[BEBEFILLE shrugs]

JUAN: “My god… Okay.”

PABLO: “Ah, dios mio.”

JUAN: “Well, Bébéfille, looking under the hood a little bit to see how these teams have established themselves on the stats page, it looks like Cleveland’s team has had no shortage of playmakers on both sides of the ball this season. Drew Brees, Brandon Marshall, Reggie Bush, Patrick Willis, and Jamaal Anderson are all outperforming most of the league in their respective positions in some way, while the Texans seems to have very few playmakers like these on their roster. They’ve been able to win without them, but Bébéfille, do you think the lack will hurt them in big games like these, Bébéfille?”

BEBEFILLE: “Big games are all about making plays, and no team in the league has a more outstanding playmaker than Cleveland’s Brandon Marshall. With 1100 yards and 20 TDs, he is the most dominating wide receiver in the game today. But oddly enough, I see that as a potential window of opportunity for Houston. They need to take away Marshall and make on of the other players carry the day for the Browns. As far as the Texans offense is concerned, I believe that they have to stick with their controlled balanced attack and attempt to win the game with defense and special teams. Their apparent lack of a dominating playmaker can be made into a strength if they maintain balance on offense while denying Brandon Marshall the ball on defense.”

JUAN: “Containing Brandon Marshall is a test for any secondary in the league, but I’m sure the Texans will feel up to the task.”

PABLO: “Sí.”

JUAN: “Pablo dice, ‘sí’. Okay, Bébéfille. With the AFC Playoff picture already starting to take shape, there’s a good chance that these two teams could meet again in the postseason. Bébéfille, what does this game mean to Coach Smith and Coach Isemann in terms of getting ready for a possible playoffs meeting?”

BEBEFILLE: “Both of these teams are in the driver’s seat within their respective divisions, and so now it’s time for these two teams to measure themselves against the other elite teams in their conference. This game may not make or break either team’s season, but it will be a valuable indicator of how they stack up in the race to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl.”

JUAN: “Great. It sounds like we’re definitely in for an exciting one. Thanks, Bébéfille.”

BEBEFILLE: “My pleasure.”

JUAN: “Oh, Bébéfille. Bébéfille. Who do you think will win this game?”

BEBEFILLE: “I like Cleveland to continue their dominant ways and improve their record to a perfect (11-0). I think the Browns will showcase a little more balance than what we’ve seen so far, mix in some big plays from Brandon Marshall, and it all adds up to a BIG Browns win.”

JUAN: “Well there you have it, America. You’ve heard the word from Jean-Luc Bébéfille. Thanks again for stopping by, Bébéfille. Take care.”

BEBEFILLE: “You too.”

[camera returns to just JUAN and PABLO]

JUAN: “Our next expert is a returning guest from week 5, national syndicated sportswriter Harry Dickchild. Welcome back, Harry.”

[camera pans to include HARRY sitting next to the desk]

HARRY: “Hello, Juan. Hello, Pablo. It’s great to be back.”

PABLO: “Hola.”

JUAN: “All right Harry, I’ll just get right down to it. This is a topic that has fascinated many this season, including myself, and like most people I’ve just been so shocked by this rapidly developing trend. What’s going on is that, many of the dominant teams in the league, like these two teams, are very pass heavy on offense. However, a lot of the other elite passing teams this season have turned to their running game in big games like this. Do you see either of these two teams following this trend and changing their approaches for this game?”

HARRY: “I see Coach Isemann altering his game plan slightly for this matchup, going with a more balanced attack that emphasizes the run more so than he has in past games. However, I don’t think he does this because of an inability to pass the ball against the Browns defense, but to keep Drew Brees and the rest of the Browns’ potent offense off the field. It’s going to be all about ball control for the Texans. If they want to win this game, they need to control the ball, limit turnovers, and make the clock work for them. Also, it will be interesting to see how the Browns offense will operate against another user team. I think they will find success but I don’t think they will be scoring in the 30’s, as is the usual for them.”

JUAN: “The individual stats sheet seems to indicate a complete mismatch between these two teams. Are there any players in particular that you expect to have an uncharacteristically good or bad game? What kinds of surprises should we expect from the individual players?”

HARRY: “If any player in the Texans offense is going to shine in this game, it’s going to be Chris Johnson. He can hurt you by running the ball off tackle and to the outside, but he is also a dynamic receiver, which could really be a factor in this one. The Texans should get creative, putting Johnson in the slot or running screen passes to him, letting him return punts and kickoffs, anything to get the ball into the hands of this playmaker. Reggie Bush of the Browns is certainly of the same mould, so we’ll see if the Browns incorporate him into the offense a bit more than he has been this season.”

JUAN: “It sounds like there’s a lot riding on Houston’s offense for players to step up and take control. We’ll see how they do on Sunday. Harry, both teams have a successful, celebrated squad on defense, but they have very different makeups. Cleveland’s defense has some big playmakers like Patrick Willis with 8 forced fumbles and 117 tackles - both way more than anyone else in the league - and Jamaal Anderson with 10 sacks. The Texans, on the other hand, have a quietly and consistently solid defense with no egos and very few moments of weakness. My question is, which squad do you think is built for big games and how do you think they will fare in this one?”

HARRY: “I disagree with the assessment of the Texans defense not having the same big playmakers the Browns do. Justin Tuck is having one hell of a season, only two sacks behind Jamaal Anderson, and could be a major factor in this game. Nmandi Asomougha is unarguably the best cornerback in the game, and has four picks on the year, and I suspect that number may be higher after this game. The Texans will definitely have a hard time moving the ball against the Browns defense, but if they can take advantage of their aggressive nature and maybe pick on Patrick Willis in coverage with routes across the middle, they can achieve some modicum for success. The Browns offense will find a way to score on the Texans no matter how well they play. The outcome of this game just depends on what kinds of situations the Houston offense puts the Houston defense in. Too many short fields and too much time on the field will surely be disastrous for the Texans defensive unit.”

JUAN: “The Texans players will certainly have their chance to capture the spotlight this week. We’ll see what they can do. Thanks for joining us, Harry. It’s always a pleasure.”

HARRY: “Thanks, Juan. Bye-bye.”

[camera returns to just JUAN and PABLO]

JUAN: “Okay… oh no! I forgot to ask Harry for his prediction. Oh well. We’ll just have to add that to the pile of mystery and suspense heaping up for this game. Sorry, America.”

PABLO: “Lo siento.”

JUAN: “Our final guest for tonight is another returning expert. I’m sure you all remember Pregame Analysis Wizard, Merl Rhombuspatty!”

[camera pans to include MERL sitting next to the desk]

JUAN: “Hi, Merl.”

MERL: “Hi.”

[JUAN waits for the roaring applause to fade]

JUAN: “It’s great to have you back. Okay, Merl. Cleveland is still undefeated. They face what some would call their first real challenge of the season in week 12 against the Houston Texans. Up until now they’ve beaten their opponents by an average margin of 25.7 points. Do you think the Browns will continue their domination or have they been hiding weaknesses all season?”

MERL: “From what I have seen in the several games that the Browns have played, I honestly do not think that there is an aspect of the Browns’ game both on the offense and defense that has a flaw. They can run the ball if they choose and they can pass the ball short, medium, and deep. Patrick Willis is nothing short of brilliant, and takes few plays off. It honestly does not matter who is around him because the show starts and ends when MLB #51 says so. The offense can score on any play and the defense will hit you as if their life was on the line. No one in this league should think about getting on the field with the Browns. End quote.”

PABLO: “La cita última.”

JUAN: “So, do the Texans not even have a chance in this one?”

MERL: “I think Houston wins and they carry Coach Isemann off the field.”

JUAN: “But you just said-”

MERL: “Ah ta-ta-ta-ta…”

[MERL stands up and begins doing Tai Chi with his eyes closed]

JUAN: “All right then. Merl Rhombuspatty, everybody! That’s all we have time for. See you all next time for the next edition of the MLBN’s Weekly Gameday Preview. Merry Christmas!”

PABLO: “Feliz Navidad.”

ANNOUNCER: "Tonight’s program is brought to you in part by the Romo Galleria of Jewlery. “Aw shucks, I can’t believe he went to Romo!”