MLBN Launch (Week 5 Gameday Preview)

Mark threw out the idea about a week ago of having a website to better share our Madden League exploits and to act as a sort of forum for discussion. I loved the idea. Unfortunately, the options Mark looked into were going to cost money, so we decided it wasn't really worth it.

A few days ago, Eric came up with the idea of using a free blog site for our purposes. It was another great idea, and so now here we are. Eric also found a free document-hosting website so we can post links to all of our important notes and information (schedules, standings) for your convenient reference. From this point forward I intend to use this blog instead of email to post the Weekly Reports and such. Also, anyone who has something to say or discuss should feel free to post as well. Just make sure you have a blogger.com account set up and then let Eric or I know and we'll add you as an author so you can start creating new posts.

So without further ado, allow me to welcome you all to the MLBN.

In this first post I'll get right down to business. With the help of several members of the league, I've put together a transcript for a mock-pregame TV program. The focus of the show is on the first league user vs. user game between Bill's New Orleans Saints and Sam's Minnesota Vikings. The material for the different correspondents was comprised of actual researched input from several league members, with pseudonyms as follows:

JUAN & PABLO - Mike (Me)
HARRY - Eric
RICK - Brandon
MERL - Mark
REX - Brian

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it and that it can be the first of many.



[camera focuses in on two men sitting at a news desk]

JUAN: “Good evening, and welcome everyone to the first ever annual edition of the MLBN Weekly Gameday Preview. I’m Juan Mojito, and sitting next to me is my co-anchor and co-brother, and also our Spanish translator, Pablo. Are you ready to get things started, Pablo?”

PABLO: “Sí.”

JUAN: “Pablo dice, ‘sí’. Today we’re focused on the exciting upcoming NFC matchup between the Minnesota Vikings and the New Orleans Saints. The Vikings are currently (2-2) and struggling to find consistency on offense, while the Saints are (1-3) and fighting to shed their last place standing in the NFC South. Both teams will likely be looking for a win. Tonight you’ll be hearing from our experts who have researched endlessly on message boards and in chat rooms to bring you their expert analysis and predictions. I’d first like to open the floor to national syndicated sportswriter, Harry Dickchild. Welcome, Harry.”

[camera pans to include HARRY sitting next to the desk]

HARRY: “Thanks, Juan. It’s great to be here.”

JUAN: “All right, Harry. The Vikings are (2-2) and coming off of a loss, while the Saints are (1-3) and coming off of their first win of the season. Minnesota blew out their opponents on their way to victories in weeks 2 and 3, and New Orleans’s win was an exciting game with a stunning overtime finish. So who’s got the momentum going into this game?”

HARRY: “The New Orleans Saints have the momentum going into this matchup, but I think their motivation is born out of desperation, not inspiration. One more loss and this team is buried in their division standings. Any time a team has their back against a wall like Saints do, they will be a dangerous team to play.”

JUAN: “Looking at the player stats, who do you see as the key players for these two teams and how well do you see them playing in this game?”

HARRY: “The key matchups in this contest happen to be strength against strength. Maurice Jones-Drew is coming off a great performance last week and will need to repeat that effort if the Saints hope to win. On the other side of the coin, the Vikings defense has been allowing a stingy 37 rushing yards per game. If the Vikings can stop the New Orleans ground game, that will put the game into the hands of the turnover prone Phillip Rivers. If the Vikings can do that, I like their chances. On the defensive side of the ball, each team has a game changing safety with Reggie Nelson in Minnesota and Chris Horton in New Orleans. Each player leads their team in tackles, and Horton has an impressive 5 tackles for a loss. The Vikings also have a pair of great linebackers in Brian Urlacher and Terrell Suggs. Each of them could have huge games. In this matchup, I see MJD getting shut down and Phillip Rivers continuing his turnover binge. Reggie Nelson and the rest of the Vikings secondary should have a field day.”

JUAN: “Wow. That doesn’t sound good for the Saints. Mahalo knows they could use a win. With Minnesota in 3rd place and a game behind Chicago in the NFC North and New Orleans tied for last in their division in which Carolina and Tampa Bay have also been unimpressive, who needs this win more?”

HARRY: “This is a must win for the Saints. With the NFC North so close, the Vikings can afford a loss at this point and still be right in the mix, but with the Falcons running away with the NFC South, the Saints need to get a ‘W’ so they can stay within striking distance. That being said, there’s still a lot of season left to go and anything can happen.”

JUAN: “I think I already know your answer, Harry, but who wins this one?”

HARRY: “The Vikings win this one, and I don’t think it’s going to be close. They are built to stop the run and their defense is fueled by turnovers, and the Saints play right into their game plan. I see the Vikings making the Saints one dimensional, which is never good for an offense, let alone one in which the QB has thrown 15 picks in 4 games. Whichever team can limit their turnovers and control the ball will take this one, and that’s going to be the Vikings.”

JUAN: “All right, great. We’ll wait to see if your predictions come true. Thanks for joining us Harry.”

HARRY: “Anytime, Juan. Bye-bye.”

[camera moves back to just JUAN and PABLO]

JUAN: “That was some insightful analysis, wouldn’t you say, America?”

PABLO: “Sí.”

JUAN: “Pablo dice, ‘sí’. Next I’d like to introduce everyone to our in-house numbers expert, statisticals guru Rick Cleverpork. Hello, Rick.”

[camera pans to include RICK sitting next to the desk]

RICK: “Hi, Juan. Hi, Pablo.”

PABLO: “Hola.”

JUAN: “Rick. Rick, before we start getting into the nitty gritty, I want you to tell me what was the biggest statistical factoid that first jumped out at you when you were looking at these two teams?”

RICK: “Well asng#.... $(645n///UD… F(&^(%&*#23n…”

JUAN: “Rick, you’re breaking up.”

RICK: “&$(#@=+Ooosen$$N…. Ooaisenfw9*Y@$soieng#%^w3984...”

[some members of the set crew enter and start fiddling with the electronics under the desk]

JUAN: “Rick, I can’t understand a word-”

RICK: “FSTFD!!!)(*… %$(*@@!!!!!O… #*(IDUGNIUE@#!!...”

JUAN: “OK, shouting is not helping things, Rick. I'm sorry, folks; we seem to be having some technical difficulties... This is so odd. I’ve never had this happen with someone who was sitting right next to me.”

RICK: “Aoetroas$%@#%^*uanegr... Oasoiuvnwot08$#@&*928349h...”

JUAN: “Wait, I think they’ve got something…”

RICK: “@#&23iusagn… is absolutely incredible… (#%^(#(ilawufnIYAWGE%98712… because to me there’s no question. I think the stats are very clear on this.”

JUAN: “Great. You’re back, Rick. So, what were you saying?”

[the stage crew exits]

RICK: “What? Were you not listening?”

JUAN: “Yes, of course. That was brilliant, Rick. Thanks for joining us. Hey, who’ve you got winning this one?”

RICK: “Oh I have no idea...”

JUAN: “All right. Thanks, Rick, as always.”

RICK: “My pleasure. Bye, Juan. Bye, Pablo.”

JUAN: “Bye, Rick.”

[camera moves back to just JUAN and PABLO]

PABLO: “…”

JUAN: “…Pablo hates goodbyes. Well that was something. Anyway, I’m very excited to welcome our next guest on the show. He’s a living legend and a pioneer in the world of sportscasting. Will everyone please give a warm welcome to pregame analysis wizard, Merlin Rhombuspatty!”

PABLO: “El mago de análisis, Merlín.”

[camera pans to include MERLIN sitting next to the desk]

MERLIN: “Please, call me Merl.”

JUAN: “All right, Merl. So, are you excited about this NFC matchup?”

MERL: “I am, Juan. These two teams look very similar both on paper and on the stat sheet.”

JUAN: “Yes they do, Merl. But I’m sure you’ve figured out what these teams need to do to succeed this week. What are the Miller Lite Gold Cup Six Pack Keys to the Game?”

MERL: “For New Orleans, the most important factor is MJD – not a Miller Lite product. They need to establish the running game and stay with it. Jones-Drew is averaging over 5 yards a carry. The Saints need to use him between the tackles with a power-style run game and mix in some play action to keep that athletic group of Minnesota linebackers guessing. Next: checkdowns. Phillip Rivers needs to be able to minimize turnovers to give his team a chance in this one. Short passes to running backs and tight ends are a much better alternative than adding to those 15 interceptions. Rivers will have to be able to throw the ball away and not force it into tight coverage this week. Punts are OK! The third key for the Saints is their defensive front 7. Minnesota has shown they are committed to running the ball up the gut with fullback Greg Jones, a.k.a. ‘Rolling Thunder’. Three of the New Orleans top tacklers are in the secondary. If they are the top three tacklers this week, Greg Jones will have a huge game.”

JUAN: “Sounds like New Orleans has some battles in the trenches to win.”

MERL: “Yes.”

PABLO: “Sí.”

JUAN: “Pablo dice, ‘sí.’ All right, so now we’ve heard what New Orleans needs to do. What about Minnesota?”

MERL: “For Minnesota, Willie Parker, a.k.a. ‘Black Lightning’, has been a versatile threat so far this season and can create big plays in open space. They need to continue to use him as a dual threat as a receiver out of the back field and on the perimeter to gain those yards. For Eli Manning, he needs to improve his decision making. His tendency to hesitate has led to a user-high 14 sacks and a 2-1 INT-TD ratio. Is this a case of the quarterback holding the ball too long or is there something that needs to be addressed with the offensive line? It’s a little early in the season to tell. However, no time to throw the ball could mean a huge day for a New Orleans defense with a lot to prove. And lastly: crunch time. Minnesota has ran right through their opponents in their two victories. I wonder what decisions rookie Madden League coach Samsonite Smithstopper will make with the game in the clutch?”

JUAN: “Sounds like these teams have got their work cut out for them. Who do you think wins it?”

MERL: “Whichever team takes my advice, Juan.”

JUAN: “All right, well I guess we’ll see if you’re right in week 5. I’m sorry our time with you is up, Merl. You’ve been great. Merl Rhombuspatty, everybody!”

MERL: “Thanks. I really enjoyed it.”

JUAN: “Well, you’re always welcome on our show. Take care.”

[camera moves back to just JUAN and PABLO]

JUAN: “Wow. That was, como se dice… fascinating! Eh, America?”

PABLO: “Fascinante. Sí.”

JUAN: “Pablo dice, ‘sí’. Last up on our program this evening, we’d like you to join us as we pay a tele-visit to our MSPN senior sideline reporter live on the scene, Rex Mancubes. Rex, can you hear me?”

[PIP screen emerges showing REX at the scene]

REX: “…Loud and clear, Juan.”

JUAN: “Great. How’s the weather over there, Rex?”

REX: “…It’s nice, Juan. A little hot.”

PABLO: “Hace calor.”

JUAN: “All right, Rex. I’ve been looking at the stat sheets for these two teams, and I’m noticing some irregularities with both of their offenses. The leading receivers for both teams are their tight ends and running backs, with star receivers Anquan Boldin of the Saints and T.J. Houshmandzangola of the Vikings underperforming. Also, Minnesota’s leading rusher is Greg Jones, the fullback, and quarterback Eli Manning leads the team with 4 rushing touchdowns already this season. Do you think offenses like these can sustain a successful team throughout the season?”

REX: “…I think it’s going to be tougher for the Vikings to sustain offensive success than the Saints. Eli is getting sacked more than three times per game while also throwing two interceptions per contest. I think the Vikings will continue to run the ball well with Jones and I like how much they’re using Parker in the passing game. The problem, though, is T.J. Houshmandzadeh has caught half as many balls from Eli as the other teams. Maybe they should think about moving him to the slot or something.”

JUAN: “OK, well, I think-“

REX: “…On the other hand, the Saints are starting to come around. Rivers has at least looked Boldin’s way. Also, Boldin isn’t notorious for dropping passes; I think three dropped balls is an anomaly. Keep feeding him the ball and the Saints will be just fine. Don’t shy away from Jones-Drew, either. I think the two offenses are headed in opposite directions. Unless the Vikings do more to incorporate Houshmandzadeh into the passing game, they will continue to be on the wrong side of the compass.”

[JUAN waits a beat for the delay]

JUAN: “OK, well, I think we’ll all be waiting to see if the Saints have finally hit a corner offensively after last week’s win. Next, Rex, I’d like to talk about these two talented coaches. Most of our audience is surely familiar with the relationship between Coach Sam Smith of the Vikings and Coach Bill Smith of the Saints. Along with Coach Mike Smith of the Browns, they’re brothers. Of these two, Coach Billiam is the older. How do you see this relationship translating to the field and will it have an effect on the game’s outcome?”

REX: “…Well, Juan, while Coach Billiam is older, it’s actually Coach Sam that probably has more experience. An early student of the game, the younger of these two Smiths has actually been coaching longer. I spoke with Coach Sam earlier this week and he told me that he’d been coaching a PS2-division team in Europe this past summer. He said he had tremendous success overseas and I would expect the same to happen here. His offense does worry me, but against his older brother I’m not concerned.”

JUAN: “Interesting.”

PABLO: “Interesante.”

JUAN: “My next question for you Rex also concerns Coach Sam. Word around the NFL is that as the Vikings Head Coach, Sam has put a heavy focus on big hits with his defense, and so far he’s had four different players force a fumble in as many weeks. New Orleans has had plenty of trouble keeping control of the football, though mostly their problems are with the passing game. Does Coach Sam’s heavy hitter philosophy spell even more turnover trouble for Coach Bill’s Saints?”

REX: “…The secret is out; Coach Sam brings a hard-hitting approach that has yet to let him down this season. When you look at the stats, common sense says that Coach Billiam’s team will have a hard time protecting the ball. Phillip Rivers leads the NFL in interceptions, and his receivers like Anquan Boldin aren’t catching everything they should. If I’m coaching the Saints this week in practice, I’m stressing ball protection. Focus on making the catch, not the yards after the catch.”

JUAN: “Well, Rex, I hope one or both of these coaches is listening, because you’ve said it all. So how do you see this game turning out?”

REX: “…Well, Juan, you’ve got an unconventional offense in Minnesota’s that primarily uses its fullback and tight ends going up against a Saints defense which prides itself on wrapping up the ball carrier as opposed to making the big play. On the other hand, you have a Vikings defense that wants to get off the field as soon as possible by creating turnovers. Throw them against a team that can’t protect the ball and the outcome looks disastrous. I’ve got the Vikings beating the Saints, 34-17.”

JUAN: “Well all right. Thanks a lot, Rex. It’s always a pleasure to hear from you.”

REX: “…The pleasure’s all mine, Juan.”

[camera returns to just JUAN and PABLO]

JUAN: “That was Rex Mancubes, reporting live from the sidelines. Well, you’ve heard from our experts. It looks like this week 5 matchup is shaping up to be a classic. “

PABLO: “Sí.”

JUAN: “Pablo dice, ‘sí’. I’m afraid that’s all for this Weekly Gameday Preview, so be sure to tune in next time. I’m Juan Mojito. From everyone here at MLBN, goodnight and happy Thanksgiving.”

ANNOUNCER: Tonight’s program is brought to you in part by Geico. “It’s so easy, Bill could do it.”